The benevolent aliens arrived today. They apologised for being late but said that, even with their level of technology and using the, slingshot around a black hole manoeuvre, getting here still took a while.
On arrival, they immediately incapacitated all weapons. They explained they’d been working remotely to fix the hole in the ozone layer and would give us well-needed help to reverse global warming as well as provide advice on kick-starting a global nuclear fusion energy source. All coal-fired power stations were subsequently repurposed by WeWork into libraries and co-shared working spaces.
High on their agenda was removing Putin from power. This was easy to achieve when Putin challenged the aliens to a wrestling match. As defeating the despot was so important, they accepted his challenge, despite it going against their strict, violence is the last resort of the incompetent ruling. His failure to appreciate the advantage their extra limbs gave them proved to be his downfall.
Ridding the world of Trump was also remarkably simple. A minor change to the weapon’s disabling software was made so that it included hairdryers. Trump, unable to maintain his ridiculous comb-over became so embarrassed he refused to appear in public and his moronic followers soon forgot who he was. Trump pleaded guilty to 743 of the 744 criminal charges he was indicted for, in return for serving his term at the Idaho State Penitentiary and potato farm. He could not bring himself to admit to the 744th charge of financial fraud as this would require recognition of his impoverished state.
In North Korea, the vast amount of money that chubby Kim had been using to fund his weapons program was immediately put to use to feed the starving population who became much healthier and were able to storm his palace and throw him into one of the many pools in his giant waterpark.
The aliens, in an attempt to gain favour and show that they understood Earth humour named this project The Three Stooges removal program. Catchy.
As a minor side project Boris Johnson was removed from the public eye in a bizarre table-tennis accident. The aliens called this The Wif-Waf project.
Their grasp of the subtleties of humour still needed some work. But it wasn’t a bad start to the year.